Ghosting, rizz, bear or gooning? Here we explain terms from dating, the community and youth slang, so daddies understand their boys and the other way round.
Dating
- BenchingBenching means keeping someone on the substitutes’ bench as an option, keeping them interested without ever really choosing them.
- BreadcrumbingBreadcrumbing means tossing someone only small signs of interest to keep them hooked, without really meaning it.
- CatfishingCatfishing means pretending to be someone else online with fake photos or an invented identity – often in order to scam.
- DeluluDelulu comes from “delusional” and means knowingly talking yourself into something – usually with a wink.
- GhostingGhosting means suddenly cutting off contact with someone without any explanation – disappearing like a ghost.
- Love BombingLove bombing means showering someone with affection, compliments and attention right from the start – often to tie them to you.
- OrbitingOrbiting means still watching and liking someone’s stories after cutting contact, without ever writing again – circling around them.
- Red Flag, Green Flag, Beige FlagA red flag is a warning sign, a green flag a good sign, a beige flag an odd but harmless quirk.
- RizzRizz is charm or a talent for flirting – the ability to win someone over with words and presence.
- SituationshipA situationship is a connection with closeness or sex but no clear commitment – more than nothing, but not a relationship.
- Slow FadeWith a slow fade, contact is wound down bit by bit until it fizzles out – the quiet, creeping form of ghosting.
- Soft LaunchA soft launch means only hinting at a new relationship on social media instead of openly showing your partner.
- The IckThe Ick is a sudden, barely explainable aversion to someone you found attractive just a moment ago.
- ZombieingZombieing means someone who ghosted you turns up again weeks or months later as if nothing had happened.
Community
- Bear and CubA bear is a big, hairy man with his own subculture; a cub is a younger bear.
- BeardA beard is a pretend girlfriend or wife who helps a gay man hide his homosexuality from the outside world.
- BoyA boy is an adult, usually younger man aged 18 or over who takes the counterpart to the daddy in a daddy-boy dynamic.
- Coming outComing out means becoming aware of your own sexual orientation and telling others – often a lifelong process.
- CruisingCruising is looking for sex partners in public places such as parks, car parks or motorway service areas.
- DaddyA daddy is a more mature man who attracts with self-assurance, experience and often a protective manner – more about presence than age.
- DL and discreetDL (“down low”) means men who have sex with men but present as straight; “discreet” means not wanting to be recognised.
- MascMasc stands for “masculine” and describes a pointedly manly manner; “masc4masc” is seen as exclusionary.
- OtterAn otter is a slim but hairy man – somewhere between a twink and a bear.
- SideA side is a gay man who doesn’t want anal sex and prefers other forms of closeness and sex.
- Top, Bottom, VersTop, bottom and vers describe which part someone prefers in anal sex: active, passive or both.
- TwinkA twink is a young, slim, usually not very hairy man with a boyish look – a label people use for themselves and for others.
Youth and internet slang
- Aura“Aura” means presence and coolness, counted like a points account – “minus 50 aura” after an awkward moment. German youth word of 2024.
- cringe“Cringe” means embarrassing, making you squirm on someone’s behalf – Germany’s Youth Word of the Year 2021.
- das crazy (German youth word 2025)“Das crazy” is the German all-purpose reply for “wow” or “huh, okay” – and Germany’s Youth Word of the Year 2025.
- dih, dihh and ahh“Dih” or “dihh” stands for “dick”, “ahh” for “ass” – deliberate misspellings to get past filters on TikTok.
- glazing“Glazing” means praising someone excessively and undeservedly – as if coating them in thick sugar icing.
- goofy“Goofy” means clumsy, silly or a bit odd – Germany’s Youth Word of the Year 2023.
- Gooning“Gooning” means hours of excessive masturbation to porn – but it’s often used ironically as a crude word for masturbating.
- lowkey and highkey“Lowkey” means “a bit, secretly”, “highkey” the opposite: “quite openly, totally”.
- no cap“No cap” means “no joke” or “honestly”; “cap” on its own means a lie.
- six seven (67)“Six seven” or “67” is an in-joke exclamation with no fixed meaning, often with a hand gesture – sometimes it means “so-so”.
- slay“Slay” means being brilliant, coming across with confidence or looking stunning – the expression is credited to the queer ballroom scene.
- smash“Smash” means wanting to get together with someone or sleep with them – from the game “smash or pass”. German youth word 2022.
- sus“Sus” means suspicious or questionable, short for “suspicious” – it became well known through the game “Among Us”.
- ts pmo“ts pmo” means “this shit pisses me off”, i.e. “this really annoys me”; “pmo” on its own can also mean “put me on”.
- tuff“Tuff” is a spelling of “tough” and means cool, strong, impressive – spread by memes since late 2024.
Health
- Chemsex and PnPChemsex means sex under the influence of certain drugs; PnP (“Party and Play”) is another name for it.
- Poz and NegPoz and neg are short for HIV-positive and HIV-negative, which men use to state their status.
- PrEPPrEP is an HIV medication that HIV-negative people take preventively and that, taken correctly, protects against HIV as reliably as condoms.
- U=U (n=n)U=U means “undetectable = untransmittable”: anyone with HIV who is successfully treated does not pass the virus on through sex.