Dating lexicon · Community
A beard is a pretend girlfriend or wife who helps a gay man hide his homosexuality from the outside world.
“Beard” is an American slang word for a pretend partner. It means a woman who appears at a gay man’s side so that he passes as straight to the outside world. Just as a beard covers the face, she covers up his homosexuality.
Sometimes both know what’s going on and help each other out. Sometimes the woman has no idea. Behind a beard there is usually a deep fear of rejection – by family, at work or in one’s wider circle.
Many older gay men know this situation from a time when living openly was hardly possible. Today a lot is easier, but not everywhere.
“His ex was really just his beard.”
On DaddyBoy
If someone tells you he lives or has lived like this, listen without judging. Everyone has his own pace.
Related
- DL and discreetDL (“down low”) means men who have sex with men but present as straight; “discreet” means not wanting to be recognised.
- Coming outComing out means becoming aware of your own sexual orientation and telling others – often a lifelong process.
- SideA side is a gay man who doesn’t want anal sex and prefers other forms of closeness and sex.