Dating lexicon · Community
A side is a gay man who doesn’t want anal sex and prefers other forms of closeness and sex.
Gay men who don’t want anal sex – neither as a top nor as a bottom – call themselves sides. They prefer other forms of sex and closeness.
The term was coined around 2013 by the US therapist Joe Kort. He wanted to give a word to men who didn’t see themselves in the categories top, bottom and vers. For a long time there was an unspoken assumption that anal sex is part of gay sex. That isn’t true, and many men feel relieved when they realise others feel the same.
Being a side isn’t a phase or something you have to “get over”. It’s simply a preference like any other.
“Just so you know: I’m a side.”
On DaddyBoy
State your preferences in the profile fields for role and preferences. That way others know straight away where they stand, and you don’t have to explain it again in every chat.
Related
- Top, Bottom, VersTop, bottom and vers describe which part someone prefers in anal sex: active, passive or both.
- MascMasc stands for “masculine” and describes a pointedly manly manner; “masc4masc” is seen as exclusionary.
- Coming outComing out means becoming aware of your own sexual orientation and telling others – often a lifelong process.